Okay.. so can I just start this post with ... OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! WHAT WAS I SMOKING when I thought that boxing was going to be an easy choice in weight loss!?
Sure... weight loss will be easy enough smacking the crap out of something like a loon... but honestly.. what was I thinking... I seriously didn't think that Boxing would be that hard!
let me set the scene for you...
Imagine if you will... a short fat kid on his first day at a new school. Short fat kid stops for a moment (perhaps in awe of the new surrounds... perhaps pure intimedation) and while fat kid stops to reassess...someone ties fat kids shoe laces together. Fat kid takes a step, only to stumble and fall flat on their face... embarrassment... laughter imminent... Can you see it!?
Well... hmmm.... that is not exactly the scene of today though it would not have mattered... for the result was the same.. embarrassment... imminent laughter... (not from anyone but me...) though not quiet at myself. More.. out of shock while my insides screamed... WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!?
I was given a pair of wraps and was shown how to put them on... miss Keen (aka me) was like... "yep yep... wraps.. check! (easy peasey lemon squeezy)..."
Then I was given a purdy pink pair of boxing gloves to put on... "uh huh... hmmmm... yep... not so bad" (after being resized to a medium because my hand was getting stuck in a small - trainer could have "sworn" i was a SMALL.) Hello... what part of me is small!?
Then I was walked around to the training room... "yep.. been here... cool... boxing bags... big light ones, big medium ones, BIG HARD ones.... ones that were anchored between floor and roof on some elastic that should be on steroids... speed balls".... the list goes on... and then..walking walking walking... STOP....THE mirror of all mirrors..
hmm... no one said anything about having to stand infront of that! Not only was i to stand infront of it, looking at myself... I was to lift my hands into a boxing pose, spread legs in the "stance" and punch right at my reflections nose. "easy....."
WRONG!
This is where my easy peasey lemon squeazy charade came tumbling appart... Surely punching air into my reflection would be easy, if only I could make a punch meet with my reflections nose.. chin, the imaginary hat i was wearing, the hats hat, my imaginary friends ear... hmmmm.. i know my nose is around here somewhere!
Okay... so finally i get the hang of (in the loosest possible way) punching air... though my freaking feet just were as uncordinated as putting a full size girafe on a pond of ice and tell him to run.
Yeah... no. Just was not going to happen.
On to the bags... "cool.. yep.. has to be better than that reflection shit"... yeah.. no... who does this professionally and looks like they are floating on air? I looked like freaking baby elephant on an acid trip trying to work my way around that bag AND throw a punch that didnt see the bag wanting to come back and knock me on my arse!
3 minutes is such a LONG TIME. (each of our sessions with something lasts three minutes)... the speed ball... the possessed over springy, im too good to just hand from the roof, have to be tied to the floor too, super elastic ball... (which I will tell you... HAS IT IN FOR ME)...
My arms hurt, my thighs hurt... (because almost everything ended up in punch punch upper cut upper cut... SQUAT!!!!)... i need a lay down!!!!
(I will be going back.. oh yes... I WILL BE, if only it is to show that over pompus steriod taking elastic suspended bag who is the boss!!!)
In all honesty, the workout was great.. i expected to hurt.. and well... i am.. though i did not think that Boxing would be so challenging... and that i was really so uncordinated.
It has to get easier... they say so... so i will listen... and keep going until I am NOT uncordinated... the reflection in the mirror screams mercy... and the bag goes in the direction that I aim and I am no longer running for cover!
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Eliptical trainer - 10 minutes at 4.7 av. KM.
Dips: 3
Criss Crosses - 3
push ups - 3
skips - 10 without tripping myself up on the rope. (lots more that almost resulted on a rubber version of carpet burn!)
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